"Will you sleep with me?" I'm taking the phone off the hook

How many emails or LinkedIn messages do you get each day from someone who wants ten minutes of your time to tell you how they can help your business? How many Facebook and Instagram influencers want to connect with you to take you to the next level, only to unfollow you later?

These are the 2020 versions off the cold call telemarketing calls my grandparents got.. They took the ringer off the hook so any incoming calls would get a busy signal - the analogue version of a spam folder.

From someone who is building a business, here’s my humble suggestion: Find a better way.

Sure, some may have found a measure of success with this, but if you’re in the relationship building business, it’s not your plan A.

I knew a guy in college (no it was NOT me) who stood outside the clubs at 1 AM and asked the girls coming out, “Will you sleep with me?" As they walked by.

They’d say, “No!” He’d move on to the next girl.

Will you sleep with me? No

Will you sleep with me? No

Will you sleep with me? No

Will you sleep with me? No

Will you sleep with me? No

Will you sleep with me? Okay

I sense this eerie, shallow, self-centered approach to some LinkedIn messages I get.

Maybe you don’t have to go to bed alone, but it’s still a rather lonely, disconnected, shallow attempt at a relationship.

Here are the business messages that get my attention:

“Hi David, how’s the weekend?”

Um, no, that won’t work either. If I don’t know you, why do you care about my weekend? What are selling? This is not a dating site.

Try again:

“Hi David, I resonated with your last post where you talked about forgiveness. I had a similar experience when I last went home to visit my sister…….”

Now you have my attention because I connected with you and reached out. Even if you’re faking it, you took the effort to get to know me.

There are countless of life coaches, online marketers, assistants, and lead generators on the planet. What makes you stand out is our connection.

There are countless numbers of speakers, agencies, schools, and entrepreneurs that are my people. None of them became customers because I asked, “Will you sleep with me?’ Hypothetically speaking!

All of them from around the world are my partners and clients, because we both connected as humans first. We built relationships with no ulterior motive. We offered to help each other, encourage each other, and support each other.

They all started as a “cold” connection, but not a cold call. We focused on serving, not selling. It has made me an international speaker and coach and didn’t have to ask anyone, “Will you sleep with me? I’m an Instagram influencer and I can help you generate more leads in just ten minutes.”

Figuratively speaking of course.

If you make an effort to truly connect, we may or may not do business, but I won’t take the phone off the hook.

Will you sleep with me?


Get to know me first.

Figuratively speaking of course.