What she used to like
My daughters were telling me about their day. It’s a regular thing for us. Then, a few minutes into it there was silence.
“I’m listening.” I said.
“Dad, put away your phone.” Annoyance in their voice.
“I’m listening!: I said, trying to convince myself. No one was fooled.
“What did I just say?”
“You…were telling me about your day….?”
A scowl. A sheepish look. I placed the phone out of site. I had been caught.
“You do it too.” I said. Yeah, great example of parenting, I know.
We laugh at the absurdity of it all. We connect. The damn phone, the internet, the world outside can wait.
There are 4 skills that are vital to anyone wanting to succeed in life and business in the 21st Century. There is a fifth (4+) that holds these skills together.
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“5 easy steps to get thin in a week”
“4 easy steps for anyone to be rich!”
“4 easy steps to make anyone fall in love with you!”
You’ve seen them on magazine covers, late night commercials, and most of all, online.
Yet, if it was that easy, there’d be no obesity, no poverty, and no divorce.
To be fair, even if it WAS that easy, there would still be obesity, poverty, and divorce because humans have brains that are in a constant battle between our reptilian stem and our frontal lobe. There’s a lot of material out there on mindset and much of what I speak and teach on is that we can overcome fear and make decisions based on rewriting the stories we tell ourselves. This post I want to tell something different.
I’ll be perfectly clear that for most of us, at least at the start, change takes WORK. To get thin, to get rich, to build relationships, take WORK.
It’s not rocket science, we can build rockets. It’s human psychology, which I would argue, is something we understand even less (to all you rocket scientists out there, I mean zero disrespect)
Please, get in shape, make more money, build connections with others. A lot these clickbait type headlines have good information in them. Many are also complete garbage. Use that brain of yours and glean information you can use, and forget the rest, even if it includes this blog!
Understand however, that whatever actions you decide to take, will take WORK to get results.
Don’t be discouraged when you don’t look like Wonder Woman or Captain America. Are you more in shape today than you were a week ago because you put in the WORK?
I could continue to give examples, but I think you get the idea. That brain of yours is smarter than you give it credit for.
Just remind yourself once in a while that it’s never as easy as they tell you.
Now, go get to work.
Learn from your regrets. Don’t re-live them. There might have been a tornado warning in the area - some small farming town nearby, but we practiced anyway.
My roommate had convinced me at the beginning of the school year to join the Civil Air Patrol. It was a voluntary auxiliary of the US Air Force that primarily dealt with Search and Rescue.
Put your damn phone away and make a real connection.
Have you ever experienced this?
You walk into a coffee shop.
Barista: “Hi, what can I get you?”
(__________ Insert favourite drink here)
Barista: “How are you today?”
“Good.” You reply as you pull out your phone out of sheer habit.
You check your notifications - nothing life-shattering.
“Here you go.” The barista hands you your drink with a smile.
When we really connect it is at an emotional level. We don’t need perfect stories, because emotions aren’t perfect. Do you tell good stories? Really? I don’t mean the kind your friends laugh at after a few drinks. I mean stories that can inspire an audience, or motivate a team to action. Stories that connect and change others.
It's difficult to delve too deep into microexpressions in 7 minutes, but this is my introduction into the subject at a group full of entrepeneurs to a Toastmasters group in Vancouver, BC.