Find Your Who

Do you know people who were only happy when they were sad? This were my people, my friends, my connections, my circle.

One day when I was nearly homeless, it slowly dawned on me that maybe I needed a new circle. Simon Sinek told us to find our why and I 100% agree with him.

Tony Robbins asks us the question, when something great happens to us, what do we want to do? We want to tell someone. Celebrate with someone. Connect with someone.

Robin Dunbar explains that our brain is limited to having 150 meaningful connections. Fifteen are close friends. Five are intimate. It’s all our brain can handle, in spite of what social media flashes before us.

This begs the questions: Who are your 150? Your 15? Your 5?

My response to this is not that these numbers seem small, but rather the opposite. Take a moment and start writing some names down. I bet your group of 5 won’t be too hard. 15 could be a stretch, and 150 might be nearly impossible. I mean, do you really consider your insurance agent or doctor a friend? More importantly, who do you think of when you think of your friends?

Do these connections—especially those in your smaller circles—help inspire you to fulfill your why? Do they share in your joy when something great happens?

Jim Rohn claimed that we are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.

While our close circles are small, our influence is wider than we think.

Take a moment and consider some shuffling or expanding. They don’t have to have the same why as you—but wouldn’t it be nice if they supported it?

I did that, and it has made a world of difference.